We all have a “money story” – one that has defined our relationship with our finances. Whether you’re an expert at saving every penny or you find yourself avoiding your banking app, your relationship with money isn’t just about numbers—it’s about your mindset.

Moneybox’s recent research shows that most people worry about money: how best to save or invest it; who to turn to for help and support. Nearly everyone wants to be better informed so they can make better decisions.

A central question for psychologists is how, why, and when people’s money habits (beliefs, behaviours, and personalities) are developed. Here’s the thing: they’re formed early in life with many deep-seated beliefs tracing back to socialisation in the family – essentially what you’re taught by your parents.

Each family develops their own norms and behaviours about money: who controls the finances; when and how money is talked about; how it is distributed and spent. Sometimes one person manages everything – paying bills, investing, and giving others certain amounts when it’s needed. Some parents use money to educate their children through “pocket money” – teaching them how to be money-savvy, manage their own affairs, and grow into adults who are well informed and sensible with regard to their money.

Education, social class, and personal values can also dictate which system you adopt – and how it changes over time. Of course, the culture and generation you grow up in can have an impact too.

Your childhood experiences are formulated into a ‘money-gram’ (a telegram about money from your past). These might include things like “you can cheer yourself up by shopping”, “you shouldn’t talk about finances with anyone”, “being wealthy isn’t for people like you”. And, these early experiences can manifest in different ways later in adult life:

  • If money felt tight growing up, you might find it hard to spend even when you’re doing well.
  • If money talk was taboo or off-limits, you might feel embarrassed or overwhelmed by financial decisions today.
  • If money was used to demonstrate gratitude or pleasure, you might use money as a way to show love and appreciation.

By identifying these patterns, we can move from reactive habits to intentional choices.

Re-wiring, changing and growing

Many people want to make better financial decisions – resulting in a need to evolve their habits.

There are a number of ways to do this but it all starts with understanding your type and looking at your fundamental beliefs to see what might be holding you back. If you’re a safety seeker, are you saving so much that you aren’t enjoying today? Or, perhaps you’re a carefree spender and spending so much today that you’re risking tomorrow?

The next step is to make some small but relevant changes to your behaviour and see what impact that has. It’s a bit like adopting a healthier lifestyle – you start by assessing your current situation and what you should do more and less of.

Here’s some helpful starting points:

  1. Monitor the “in and out”: Keep a money diary for two weeks. Seeing where your money actually goes can be a lightbulb moment.
  2. Set targets: Instead of saying “I’m going to be a master investor,” try “I’m going to invest small amounts at the end of each month.”
  3. Check in regularly: Change won’t happen overnight. Check in on your targets every month and you’ll be surprised how quickly positive habits start to form.

Rewiring your relationship with money isn’t about being perfect; it’s about being mindful. When you understand the “why” behind your spending and saving, you unlock the power to build the future you want.

Capital at risk. All investing should be long term. The value of your investments can go up and down, and you may get back less than you invest. 

We do not offer personal financial advice or make specific recommendations based on your individual circumstances. If needed, seek independent financial advice before making decisions regarding your financial goals.